Becoming.

After a decade of knowing that I wanted to help people somehow, 8 years of knowing I wanted to help others feel better about themselves, 6 years of knowing that a profession such as life coaching exists, 4 years of talking friends through rough spots and being told I should get paid for it, 3 years of finally having put the pieces together and realizing I could get paid for it, 2 years of wanting it, 1 year of doing the research, 8 months of intense work on Self to get myself in the ready position, and 3 months of filling out forms and waiting for approval, my Life Coach training starts on Friday.

Everything has finally pulled together, everything points to this being the right move at the right time, and this is happening. I'm excited, in a very zen sort of way. I'm also a little scared. While the training itself is simply a 3-day weekend in Chicago, sitting in a room with a bunch of other folks ready to learn and practice the same information, it signifies the beginning of the new life I imagine for myself. This is Step 1. It sets into motion a much longer series of events leading to a whole lot of work and a whole lot of rewards, a lot if initiative needed on my part, a lot of job satisfaction, a lot more time with my kid, a lot more time to keep up my house so we have more family time rather than after-work-chore-time, a lot of I-don't-know-what-else that I can only imagine will be good. And it all starts this weekend. I'm not quite sure what about that makes it scary, but it is. Maybe just because it's real, and maybe because I have no idea what to expect in Step 2. I know there will be a time committment involved for coach/client practice and conference calls, and it's entirely possible that I'm concerned about those taking up family time that's already limited.

Technically speaking, the trip itself will be a 5-day weekend. I'll be driving there Thursday and getting back Monday. It'll be the longest time that I've ever been away from my little guy since he was born, and I am acutely aware of this, as well. It'll be the longest time that the husband has to be on full-time Daddy Duty with no Mommy reprieve. He seems to be going between excited to spend extra time with the little guy, and worried that he won't get any sleep since nights are a Mommy job. Myself, I'm going between being excited to see how they handle 5 days and 4 bedtimes by themselves, and concerned that it'll mess the little guy up - and make the separation anxiety we're just starting to get past flare up again - to randomly have no Mommy for so long. I guess only time will tell, and whatever happens, I'll still be happy to see my guys again when I get home. It'll be weird to sleep in a strange bed in a strange hotel by myself, when I'm used to sleeping with a husband half the night, and a toddler the other half.

The rental car, the directions to the hotel and training, the list of things to pack, and the hoping I make a couple of friends while I'm there, are all on my radar screen, too.

But mostly, I'm excited, because after nearly 28 years, I finally really feel like I'm taking my own steps in my own desired direction, and I like that this feels good. This feels right. And it's all starting this weekend.